PostHARSH Shorts
by wurdsmythe
Summary: Short stories following Drakken and Shego after the events of HARSH. There's no particular order, and there will be drama, comedy, etc. -- depends on what ideas I get. Rated T now, but I may get juicy later!
1. Chapter 1

_Hi, everybody! Okay, I put the HARSH challenge out and got 2 comments back, both saying I should write any sequels myself. And I'd like to. So I figured I'll do it in short bursts. And whaddaya know, I already did a burst! Here it is.  
_

_PLEASE NOTE that I'd still be tickled if somebody else wanted to take a stab at it, so the challenge is still on, if anyone is interested._

_I'll update when I can. I have loads of little vignettes and stuff that I'd like to share. And everybody else, keep writing! I love DS!_

_"Wow" is dedicated to Ninnik Nishukan and PoisonousAngel. Thanks for the nudge, and you guys write the best DS!!  
_

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"Wow."

Just one word. But coming from Shego, it was a big word indeed.

Drakken watched her look around, wondering what she meant. "Wow" could have a good meaning or a bad meaning. What did it mean when she said it at this particular moment?

They'd just taken their first steps into their new home. _Prison_, he corrected himself. But he had to admit it was a fine prison indeed, much nicer than the Mount Middleton cracker box he'd been living in before.

Dr. Director had moved them to Upperton, far outside the city limits but close enough that GJ could extend one of their underground travel tubes directly to the house. That way, Shego could make her daily commute to GJ headquarters for her new job without going out in public. Shego hadn't been pleased with that bit of news -- she'd been looking forward to being able to travel through the city -- but Drakken had assured her that if she behaved herself, Dr. Director might loosen the reins. The head of GJ had done so with Drakken already -- she'd let him redesign his disguise image on his holographic imaging device so that he would appear slim and handsome now when he ran his allowed errands.

That is, he would look slim and handsome at the point when he _could_ run his errands. He pulled his crutches closer to his body so that he could comfortably follow Shego through the front door of the house. He couldn't walk very well yet, and he certainly couldn't drive a car. It would be some time until he would be allowed to leave this house on his own.

The house was one of GJ's newer safe houses, and it had been remodeled with its new occupants' tastes in mind: vaulted ceilings, hardwood floor, black furniture, darker paint than most homeowners would want -- not a lair, but as lair-ish as the typical house could get. The whole move, from preparations to this moment, had taken three months, during which time Drakken had healed somewhat and Shego had developed her entire teaching schedule for her future GJ students.

And they'd gotten married. A very simple ceremony, no guests -- just Drakken's mother, Shego's brothers, and Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable. It had taken place in Drakken's cracker box and had lasted all of ten minutes. But it was enough. Drakken had nearly passed out with joy, and Shego had seemed...unusually content. Drakken was still concerned that his mother might drop dead from sheer happiness, but so far she merely grinned so wide that she looked like a Canadian on _South Park_. Drakken himself had been grinning a lot since, too. Marriage! To his longtime love, no less! And all because his father had tried to kill him.

He had once told Shego that life was a bitch. Well, it could be marvelous, too. As far as he was concerned, it was pretty damned marvelous right now. Except for one word.

"Wow." Shego said it again as she stepped slowly into the living room.

What did she mean? If she hated the house, Drakken feared that their new lives would take a sharp turn from marvelousness and charge straight for unbearable. "It's big," he ventured. "Lots of room."

"Yeah, I guess." Shego threw open the dark green curtains and gazed out the sliding glass doors. Outside was a large backyard with a brick storage building at the far end. That was where Drakken was supposed to keep the more dangerous substances and materials he would be working with. GJ trusted him with such materials now, but they didn't want them in the house.

Drakken ventured another comment. "Want to check out the lab?"

"Bathroom," she responded, a bit too sharply for Drakken's tastes. No doubt she was concerned about the size of the tub. Shego loved to take long luxurious baths.

_Oh please be a big tub, please please please,_ Drakken thought. With exaggerated cheerfulness he said, "To the bathroom, then!" and led the way on his crutches.

"I'll be happy when you get that knee surgery," Shego commented as she followed him down the hallway.

"All in good time," he said, but they both knew it wouldn't happen for at least a year. Drakken's body needed time to stabilize. The amount of damage he'd sustained was causing all sorts of complications this time -- bouts of severe pain, muscle spasms, dizziness, even a few blackouts had occurred. And fatigue. Lots of fatigue. But Drakken was determined to overcome everything his father had done to him. The old bastard wasn't going to win, not at this point. "Sir" was still in a coma in some undisclosed locale, and Drakken wished at least once a day that he could just set the man on fire and be done with it. But he wasn't sure if his father would feel the pain. _No pain, no gain_ was his motto on that subject, so he let the idea go. For now.

Apprehensively he peeked into the bathroom. He let out a sigh. The tub was big enough that he would be able to lay in it stretched out. Definitely bigger than the normal bathtub. _Probably because the doctor wants me to soak my leg every night,_ he thought. How handy that such a requirement meant a big tub for Shego, though.

"Wow," Shego said when she peered over his shoulder and saw the bathtub.

Drakken still couldn't figure out if she was pleased or pissed. "Look, it's got jets!" he noticed. "Isn't that great?"

"Wow."

Drakken clenched his jaw. "Let's check out the kitchen."

"Nah. That's your department. I may wear a ring now, but I'm not cooking." Shego headed for a door that led down to the basement. "Let's check out the gym."

With no small amount of trouble, what with the crutches and all, Drakken followed her.

The gym was small but had enough equipment to provide even Shego with a decent daily workout. Drakken knew she would be able to supplement it with the equipment at GJ headquarters. This stuff was mostly for him, he knew, so that he could build himself back to some semblance of health.

What took up most of the large basement was Drakken's new lab. Smaller and more cramped than he would have prefered, but equipped with the latest toys. Dr. Director had already warned him that he wasn't getting all this cool stuff for free. "You'll work for it, Drew," she'd told him. "I wouldn't waste good money on you if I didn't expect great things back. Do we have an understanding?"

Yes, they had an understanding, and Drakken was eager to get started. He missed working. And this lab was so much better than the tiny bedroom he'd had on Mount Middleton.

Happy at what he'd seen so far, Drakken said, "This place is turning out to be pretty good, don't you think, Shego?"

"Bedroom," was all she said, heading back to the stairs.

Drakken tried to keep his smile in place. _She knew we were going to end up in a typical house, _he thought, looping an arm around his crutches and using the rails to haul himself slowly up one stair at a time. _She knew that turning herself in meant a life without luxuries. She knew that marrying me would mean...less than some other options. Didn't she? Is the reality of her choice hitting her just now? Is she going to regret her decision to stay with me? _Not for the first time since they'd said their vows did Drakken feel a stab of panic. He pushed it down, telling himself not to jump to conclusions.

Shego was already at the bedroom door. "Wow," she said.

Drakken could hardly stand it anymore. He looked past her to see where they'd be sleeping from now on. "Nice bed?" he squeaked. He hadn't intended for it to come out as a question.

"Queen, not a king," Shego noted. "Damn."

"Hey, I went from my wonderful big red bed to a crappy single," Drakken pointed out. "I'll be happy with a queen."

Shego turned around and eyed him. "I'd prefer more room."

Drakken shrugged. "I don't think we can swing it."

"Swing it?" Her mouth quirked. "An interesting way to put it."

Drakken just looked at her.

"Some maneuvers require more than a queen-sized bed, you know?" she said suggestively.

Oh. OH! "Um...we...uhhh..." Drakken felt his face flush.

Now Shego grinned. "I guess there's always the floor..."

"Shego!"

"Of course, we can't do much anyway until you get better, though I think we've managed quite well so far, don't you?"

Drakken swallowed, overwhelmed for a moment by a tide of conflicting emotions. He felt relief to learn that Shego wasn't angry by the house. She wouldn't crack jokes if she was. He felt embarrassed by her not-so-subtle comments, even though she was only stating what he already knew -- that they'd managed to get quite adventurous despite his injuries. And he felt hot and tingly from the wave of love that washed over him. He worried too much, he realized. Shego was a tough woman -- tough to deal with, tough to live with, tough to be in love with. But he didn't need to worry so much. She really did love him and seemed determined to stay with him.

He grinned. _Wow!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Ya Gotta Du What Ya Gotta Du**

_Hi, all! This is another "inspection" story, but it's quite different than "Wow." Enjoy!_

"You've got to be joking."

"I never joke, Inmate Lipsky."

Drakken allowed a fairy nasty snarl to form on his face. He didn't snarl very often anymore, but this situation definitely warranted one. "I would prefer that you address me by my proper name," he said in an icy tone.

"You are no longer Dr. Drakken," the young man replied smoothly, "and you are an official inmate of the Global Justice Correctional System despite the ridiculous freedoms that have been granted to you."

Drakken wanted to slam the door in the agent's face. "Just call me _Drew_, you little snot! _Drew!_ I may not like the name, but Drew IS my name and Inmate is... is...well, it's NOT!"

Global Justice Special Agent Will Du shrugged with such disinterest that Drakken almost did slam the door in his face. But he managed to keep his cool. Dr. Director would undoubtedly punish him for such an action, and things had been going pretty well lately between the home-incarcerated Lipsky couple and Global Justice. _I will not let this maggot get to me,_ Drakken decided. "_Do_ come in, Agent _Du_," he said, and stepped aside.

Agent Du stepped into the safe house as if he'd just bought the place. "I daresay all this unnecessary remodeling is why the budget for GJ's Weapons' Development Division has recently dwindled," he commented, taking in the thick green curtains and black leather couch.

"You know perfectly well that Shego and I are paying for all this," Drakken said tightly. "Seeing as we are allowed to earn very little money, full payment will take time, but we _are_ doing it. And I'm sure you also know that I am currently designing highly efficient weapons _for_ your little Weapon's Development Division, so cut the criticism until you see the results."

"IF the results prove to be adequate," Du rubbed in.

Drakken's eyes narrowed. "Can we get this ugly little inspection over with, please? I have important deadlines to meet, unlike others who seem to enjoy gallivanting around pointlessly meddling in the affairs of those _with_ the important deadlines."

Will Du took on a more official tone when he next spoke -- not that he could speak without sounding like a textbook anyhow. "Dr. Director has sent me personally to inspect your work area, especially the Code Blue materials you have stored in your quaint backyard facility. My assessment will be final and will determine your future freedoms as pertain to the use of said materials. I am also free to inspect the entire premises for any signs of felonious, illegal, unlawful and/or unauthorized activities on the part of you or Inmate Shego."

Drakken took in this speech with amusement. "I bet you lay in bed at night and actually READ your thesaurus, don't you?"

"I have studied the English language under some of the finest private tutors in --"

"Yeah, right, okay okay," Drakken interrupted, flapping a hand. "You're a genius. Now will you inspect the place already so I can get back to work?" _So I don't end up slapping you upside your smug little face?_

Du gave a curt nod and opened the sliding glass doors that led out to the backyard. Taking a small device out of his pocket, he seemed to scan the sky. Then he studied the results, activated a wrist recorder, and spoke into it. "The invisible security web over the property is intact and functioning properly."

Drakken was following Du out of pure curiosity. He hated the young man but couldn't resist watching him perform his duties with tight mechanical motions that reminded him of his synthodrones. "I never understood the need for a sky net," he commented as he leaned on his crutches at Du's side. "What do you think we're going to do, fly away?"

"You have constructed vehicles with airborne capacities in the past," Du responded.

"When I had the money and the parts, sure! That's not the case anymore. Besides, those cute little lasers in the maple tree over there would fry a paper plane if I threw one in the air. Shego and I have taken volleyball off our list of backyard activities, and that's a fact."

Du looked sharply at Drakken. Drakken grinned back. He knew he wasn't supposed to know about the lasers. "You're not the only genius around here, genius," Drakken said.

Du raised his wrist recorder. "_Inmate_ Lipsky aware of lasers." He said nothing more but simply walked across the yard to the storage facility at the far end. Drakken adjusted his crutches and followed, smirking.

Du inspected the lock on the door. "Inadequate security," he declared.

Drakken reached into his shirt pocket and gave the agent the key. "Don't look at me, genius. This is the lock I was told to use, so it's the lock I use."

"Insufficient security on storage facility door," Du droned into his wrist recorder. Then he opened the door and stepped inside. He reached for the light switch and paused. "Where is the light switch?"

Drakken made a strange _chck-chck_ sound with his mouth and the lights came on. "Between carrying supplies and having to use these crutches, it was hard to turn the lights on and off. So I modified the simple principle of the clap light."

"Were you authorized to make this change, Inmate Lipsky?"

Drakken chose his reply carefully. _"NO."_

"Unauthorized modification of lighting system in hazardous materials storage facility," Du told his recorder. Then he proceeded to stroll down each aisle, inspecting boxes and packages and recording notes. He stopped before a big metal vat in the far corner. "This does not appear to be a standard issue GJ hazardous materials container. What is inside?"

"Oh, that's a sample of RF-78. It's an experimental substance that was first created by the students of the Middleton Institute of Science and Technology way back when I was there. I've been asked to solve the rash problem. They thought they got it licked a couple years ago, but it recently came back."

"Who authorized this project?" Du demanded.

"Dr. James Possible of the Middleton Space Center," Drakken replied.

"I heard nothing of it."

Drakken sighed. "Excuse me for pointing this out, vunderkind, but you're not Dr. Director."

Du raised his wrist and somehow gave the action the same emotional value as if he'd stuck out his tongue and said _Nyah!_ "Confirm side project RF-78."

"Actually, it's RF-79 now," Drakken said. "I've almost got the rash thing solved."

Du made the correction on his recorder and left the storage facility, leaving Drakken to relock the door. Drakken had to step-hop-step-hop on his crutches to catch up with the agent, who was already back in the house. "The lab next?" he suggested.

"No, the bedroom," Du replied.

"What?!" Drakken scuttled around Du, blocking his way to the hallway. "What the hell do you need to poke around the bedroom for? I understood that it was the one room in this house where Shego and I get to have full privacy, no cameras, no sound equipment, nothing!"

"Which is precisely why an on-site inspection is necessary every month," Du countered.

"What do you think you're going to find in there, an atomic bomb made out of pickles and duct tape?"

"Please step aside, Inmate Lipsky," Du commanded softly.

Drakken wanted to throttle the agent, but he had no choice but to obey. _Oh god, Shego's gonna kill me when she gets home, _he thought. He hoped that Du would still be there. Then Shego would kill Du and not him. Maybe.

Du went straight to the dresser and began opening drawers. He ruffled through Shego's dainty panties as if looking for an assault rifle underneath.

"What are you, a pervert?!" Drakken shouted. "Get out of there!"

"If you try to deter me from my duties, Inmate Lipsky, I have full authorization to use force."

"What are you gonna do, kick my crutches out from under me?" Drakken snarled back.

Du turned to face Drakken, his hand casually holding a stack of Shego's black lacy bras. "The last two years have changed you, Lipsky. You were once a coward, but that's not the case anymore. Now step back and let me do my job."

Drakken just stood there, not sure if he'd just been complimented or insulted. Either way, he clamped his jaws shut. _I will get this guy,_ he thought. _I don't know when or how, but some day, I will get this guy._ He watched tight-lipped as Du went through every drawer, every shelf, both closets -- he even inspected the bed sheets. When he found a few certain items tucked under the mattress, he blushed.

Drakken blushed, too, but decided to use what little ammunition he was given. "Do you even know what that green one is for, genius?" he drawled.

Du coughed. "Irrelevant to my interests," he stated, his voice not quite so composed.

Drakken barked out a laugh. "You said it, not me!"

Du shoved the items back under the mattress and strode more quickly than usual out of the room, muttering into his wrist recorder, "Bedroom in order. No signs of nefarious activity."

That made Drakken laugh again. Now he was beginning to like Special Agent Will Du. The young man was so high strung that for once, Drakken could have the same evil fun poking at somebody the way Shego had evil fun poking at _him._

The rest of the inspection went quickly. Du seemed to want to leave. Drakken found it extremely amusing and offered salacious comments every chance he got. He commented that it was nice to have a bathtub that could hold two people. "Not easily, but we manage," he said, watching Du's face go red again. "And the jets are really useful."

Drakken even managed to embarrass the agent during the inspection of the downstairs gym setup. "Do you have any idea what you can do with that machine?" he stated innocently to Du, who was checking the weigh machine at that moment. "The things it can lift -- wow!"

Du balled his fists. "Enough, Inmate Lipsky! I will finish this inspection on my own! You may leave!"

"I may, but I'm not going to. I have the right to be present at these inspections. Global Justice made the rule, not me. And there's also no rule that says I must remain silent."

Du marched up to him, pushing his face into Drakken's face -- which was difficult, as Drakken was taller than he was. "Global Justice rules also state that no official investigator is to be hindered, harassed or otherwise prevented from performing his or her duty!"

"I'm not stopping you." Drakken grinned. "I'm just bugging you. There's no rule that says I can't do that."

Du finished the inspection is silence. Drakken chose not to bother him with anymore comments. Now it was fun to just watch the agent fume. When Du finally marched to the door to leave, however, Drakken couldn't help but say, with a serious expression, "Empty your pockets, please."

"Excuse me?" Du snapped.

"I just want to make sure you haven't taken any souvenirs. You did seem to like my wife's underwear."

Du left the house, slamming the door after him. Drakken leaned against the wall and laughed.

When Shego came home from her teaching job at Global Justice, Drakken greeted her at the door with a huge smile.

"Okay, who died?" she quipped.

"Nobody. I just want you to know that you can get lippy with me all you want."

"Huh?" she said. "What's gotten into you? Did you take too many pain pills again?" She shoved past him and entered the living room, dumping down her gym bag and slipping out of her shoes. "And I don't need your permission to get lippy," she told him. "I can do it anytime I want and you know it."

"Of course I know it. And now I understand it." He gave her a big hug.

As much as Shego wanted to melt into his arms, she pushed back and eyed him. "What is up with you?"

"Let's just say I can't wait for our next home inspection!"

THE END


	3. Chapter 3

**HIGHER THAN A HOVERCRAFT**

_This story is completely ridiculous and just for lols. If anybody has a problem with the subject matter, well -- poo on you._

Drakken winced -- this time, not from the pain that had been plaguing him for the last week, but from Dr. Halgen's suggestion.

Halgen sighed. "Believe me, Lipsky, I wouldn't suggest this unless I thought it would help. Obviously you're suffering from pain caused by injuries that will take a lot more time to heal. In order for you to get through the physical therapy, you have to have some way to control the pain. So far painkillers have proven somewhat effective, but you complain that they make your mind, and I quote, _poofy_, so that you can't work. This is simply a new approach."

Drakken frowned at the white-coated Global Justice physician. "I've done many extreme things in my life, Doctor," he said in a tight voice, his whole body tense with the effort to push the pain aside. "I've jumped off bridges, survived a high-speed slam into a brick wall, escaped alive from thirty-seven blood-thirsty mutant lagomorphs _(author interjection: lagomorph = bunny rabbit-- refer to HARSH) _but I have never..." Drakken paused. "I've never done drugs," he said simply. "It's just not right."

One side of Doctor Halgen's mouth twitched upward. Otherwise he remained a wise and caring physician. "In this case it will be legal, Mr. Lipsky. Not only legal, but possibly the only way to deal with this problem effectively. Or perhaps you'd just rather stay as is?"

Drakken winced -- this time it _was_ from the pain. He'd been like this for days. Of course the injuries he had sustained during the final battle against his lunatic father were months behind him, and various aches and pains still plagued him off and on, but this particular pain simply would not stop. At first it had lasted only a moment or two, but gradually, day by day, it was becoming a never-ending assault on the nerve endings in his left arm and leg. Sometimes it was enough to make him whimper like a child, but Halgen's solution was so...unorthodox! _I'm a supervillain, a thief, a guy with a really bad temper, _Drakken thought, _ but I am NOT a drug user! _

His mother had gone to great lengths to teach her son the evil ways of drug use. After all, Drakken had been a teenager in the late seventies, when the hippie movement was petering out but the doubly-wild no-holds-barred punk movement was about to establish a whole new set of socially freakish behaviors. Drakken had always stayed far away from those crowds. The old hippies were far too touchy-feely for him, and the punks, when they showed up, just plain scared him... though he did like their hair. Especially the spikes. His spikes were natural. He couldn't make them lay flat without using building cement. So in a way he had felt fashionable for the first time in his young life. But he knew the punks still would never accept him. He was a nerd. A hopeless nerd. Even _with_ spikes.

Now all of his mother's training and the bad experiences from the past made him feel like he was now being enticed into doing something more wrong...wronger...more wronger?...than all of his past villainous activities combined.

Halgen pressed the small jar into his hand. "Just try it, Lipsky. For god's sake, you should be grateful that this option is open to you now."

Drakken stared down at the jar in his hand. He remembered what had happened about two hours ago.

He had been in his new "prison" home, alone, as Shego was at GJ headquarters teaching her class. The pain had hit like a bolt out of the blue. He had almost fallen, but his father had, under the worst of circumstances, taught him one thing -- how to bull his way through pain. He had lurched his way to the phone and called Dr. Director.

Medical marijuana had been her idea. She had watched Drakken struggle with pain and depression for more than a year, but this last set of injuries had finally broken through the amazing protective barrier that seemed to magically surround Drew Lipsky. He wasn't healing well this time, and the stress was showing.

Drakken grit his teeth at his GJ doctor. "Nyrrrrg! Fine."

Halgen nodded. "Come on, I'll show you how to use it."

DSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDS

When Shego came home that evening, she found Drakken on the couch in the living room watching the news. And giggling like mad.

"What's so funny?" she asked him.

Drakken tipped over sideways on the couch, his giggle becoming a full-blown belly laugh. "The Pre -- ha ha -- the Presi -- ha ha ha -- the President wants to -- to pass a health care bill HA HA HA!" He clutched his stomach as he was overcome by the laughter.

Shego raised an eyebrow. "Dr. Director told me this might happen." She strode over to the coffee table. "How the hell much did you smoke anyway?"

Drakken pointed at a little pipe. "A pinch! Just a pinch, I swear HAHAHAHAHA!"

"You are such a lightweight," Shego snarked, but she couldn't help but let a little lopsided grin peek through. Drakken was clearly not in pain, which gave her no small amount of relief. And he looked so doggone funny, grinning like a loony toon, gasping for breath even as he continued to alternate between barking laughter and quick little giggles that would have given her the heebie-jeebies if he'd been delivering them with a serious expression.

"I'm surprised they let you come home to try this stuff without supervision," she remarked.

The Global Justice monitor in the living room lit up. "I've been keeping an eye on him since he left my office this morning, Shego," said Dr. Halgen, his face displaying an expression of infinite patience. "He's just one of those people who react like this. There are other forms of the product we can try that should have milder reactions."

Shego glared at the monitor. She hated it, along with all the other monitors in the house. "Can't you people at least say _knock-knock_ before you turn that thing on?" she said. "What if I was naked or something?"

Dr. Halgen replied, "You know the rules, Shego. I am at liberty to activate any monitoring device in the house --"

"Except the bedroom!" Shego snapped.

"The bedroom!" Drakken cackled, and began to pummel a pillow with his little fists. "The -- the -- bedroom WAHAHAHA!"

Shego shot him a glare. "Shut up, pothead."

"POTHEAD!!!" Drakken wailed. "Heeheeheehee!"

Dr. Halgen continued his sentence as if he hadn't been interrupted. "-- except the bedroom, of course. But otherwise, you take the risk of what I or your GJ monitoring team might see."

"Great." Shego suddenly pulled her shirt up over her head -- to reveal a small clingy workout shirt underneath. "HA!" she said to the monitor. "Gotcha!"

Drakken had stopped giggling and looked at her in shock. "Hey, no stripping in front of anybody but me!" Then he grinned at the thought. "Oooo!"

"Drakken, hush," Shego told him. She waggled a finger at Dr. Halgen's face on the monitor. He'd gone slightly pink. "You'd just better be careful, Doc. I'm not the modest type."

"She's not kidding!" Drakken added. "And I should know! Once she even did her morning exercises in nothing but —"

"DRAKKEN!"

"Heeheeheeheehee!"

Halgen struggled to force back a grin. "I'll do what I can, Shego. And I suggest you give Drew something to eat now. He'll get the munchies soon, and I advise that he eat healthy foods, not a tub full of ice cream."

"Or seven boxes of Hank's Gourmet Cupcakes," Shego muttered. Louder she said, "Don't worry, Halgen. A fat Drakken?" She shuddered. "Been there, done that, not gonna repeat."

When the monitor clicked off, Shego sighed, allowing her shoulders to slump. She really did hate confrontations on that thing, and she was tired from her work day on top of that. Teaching GJ jerks the basics of hand-to-hand -- particularly _her_ style of hand-to-hand -- combat was difficult, to put it lightly.

She turned to Drakken. He was quieter now, laying on his side watching the television news with a blank expression. "It's not funny anymore?" she prompted him. "Not even the health bill?"

"Nah," Drakken said quietly. "I'm pooped. Giggled myself out, I think."

Shego perched on the edge of the couch next to him. "How do you feel? Does your leg or arm hurt?"

"Sort of," Drakken replied. "But I don't care. It's like I can feel it, but it doesn't matter."

Shego nodded. "Then I'd say this stuff may be a good thing for you, for awhile at least. But you can't go through every day cackling like a moron. You're going to have to figure out how to balance your dose so you don't feel pain but your brain doesn't melt."

Drakken nodded. "Something like that, yeah. Sure is nice to not hurt, though. I'd do a happy dance about it but it would lose something with the crutches." He paused. "I'm hungry. We got any pickles?"

Shego stood, folding her arms. "Okay, I'll do this once. Just once. After tonight, you'll have to have something ready." She heaved a sigh. "I will go and make you dinner."

"Pancakes and cocomoo!" Drakken suddenly squealed. "With lots of syrup and butter! And lots of pancakes! And cocomoo!"

"I'm thinkin' more a bowl of vegetable soup and a sandwich."

"No cocomoo?"

"Aaaaagh! Okay okay, and your blasted... chocolate milk."

"Bad Shego, dissin' the cocomoo!"

"Oh shut up." Shego picked up her gym bag and shoes and sauntered to the bedroom. She'd already taken a shower at GJ, so she dropped the bag and shoes by her dresser, ran her brush through her hair for several minutes, and went back to the living room.

Or rather, she would have gone back to the living room if Drakken hadn't been blocking the doorway. He was leaning on only one crutch, but when she turned and saw him, he purposefully let the crutch fall to the floor. With a whip of one hand, he shut the door. "What?" she asked as he hopped over to her on his good leg, hop hop hop! "Are you --?" she tried again before he flung his arms around her and forced them both to go toppling down on the bed in a tight embrace.

"I'm hungry," he said, the look in his eyes telling her that he wasn't talking about food this time.

"Oh geez -- pot makes you horny?"

"I guess so." He kissed her. "I can't help it." He kissed her again. "It's not my fault." He really kissed her this time, long and slow and deep, pressing the length of his body firmly against her. "I'm a victim of forced substance abuse," he murmured into her mouth.

Shego pushed him off and heaved a sigh. "Dr. D, as much as I pity your tragic situation here, I'm tired. I want to take a bath."

"Tongue bath," Drakken whispered, and began to lick and nibble her neck.

Shego stifled a giggle. She was SO not the giggling type, but sometimes Drakken found that one little spot along her neck that, for some reason, was extremely ticklish. "Stop it! Look, I want to relax, okay? Reel it in!"

Drakken nibbled her earlobe. "I'll help you relax."

"Not that way!"

"Not which way? There are so many ways to choose from."

Shego gawked at her wacked-out husband. He looked back at her with eyes that were intense and filled with lust. She realized that he never looked at her like that -- well, not until she tediously cracked open his shell of inhibitions and pounded on his libido until he couldn't hold back any longer. But now he was actively pursuing her, like she usually had to do with him. _Hmmm_, she thought. _This may not be bad after all..._

"Just a little relaxation?" he asked in a husky voice, reaching for her. "I want you so bad..."

_Okay, that's it,_ Shego thought, and she pulled him to her. He never talked like that. She liked it. "Let's relax."

DSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDS

About two hours later, Shego placed two bowls of vegetable soup and two tuna sandwiches on the little dining room table. Drakken was certainly hungry again -- he started wolfing the sandwich before she even sat down.

Shego didn't care that he started without her. She didn't even care that he never said thank you. She moved with slow deliberate grace to her chair, simply enjoying the sensations of being alive. Sitting down, she meticulously unfolded a napkin, put it on her lap, and started on her soup.

Now she knew what Drakken was really capable of, even with a messed-up knee. She'd never dreamed he could be quite so... inventive.

It made her smile.


End file.
